Men Too Have Problems

 

What Makes a Man? We Need to Talk About Masculinity and Mental Health

For too long, the stigma around men's mental health has been a silent killer. Too often, men struggle to talk to each other, or anyone, about how they feel. A stereotype? Certainly. But its basis in fact is terrifying. According to a CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) survey published in 2015, 41% of men that contemplated suicide refused to speak to anybody about it. Men are underdiagnosed because they don’t want to "cause a fuss," whilst their friends refuse to validate them when they have the courage to talk. Men are gagged and bound, instructed to 'man up' instead of speak out. How do we even begin to give them a voice, and make sure that voice is respected?

Introducing: Toby

“I just wish they’d accept it. I am that person, and I will be that person on and off for the rest of my life.” 

I first met Toby at a barbeque on the roof of a hostel in Buenos Aires. We got along immediately. Approaching his 30th birthday, Toby works as a builder in his hometown of Salisbury, and was on holiday with Louisa, his fiance, travelling around South America. They were hoping to get married soon after returning home.

The first night we met, we drank Quilmes Patagonia lager for hours in the downstairs bar.  I remember our conversation perfectly. We talked about male mental health, and how nobody wants to accept that it’s a real problem.